I am sorry for not having attended to you so far,
I did not realise you were needing more space to grow
and that you had things to say.
I thank you for troubling me now,
when I can understand that you mean well,
for the lesson you are offering me
that sometimes we need to let go of things
we cannot make room for
because they cause pain and anguish and
need to be returned to the universe lovingly.
Please forgive me for having neglected you so long
and for not being aware of your pain.
I love you, and now lovingly give you back to the universe.
May you find peace and space and freedom in your
return to the origins.
we printed no ads and
no search parties went out
for the pieces that had gone missing.
they came home later.
it seems they had been buried
under debris from wars, explosions and collapses,
concrete blocks of unfathomable rage
and piles of unclarified drama.
i had imagined they were,
like dogs who run away from home
in the face of noisy firecrackers and explosions,
and unable to find their way home.
i thought they were dead, decayed, rotted,
but they came suddenly, soundlessly,
not the remains of the day,
or a skeletal mass or a thin shadow
but full bodied and whole hearted
and full of love,
these puppies, or pieces, or fragments of love
that had been left in the aisle
and forgotten about
now ready to come home.
after the monsoon has swept
over the land and ravaged it
into full-breasted luscious bounty,
and the whole earth body
dries up and cracks and fissues,
and is parched with deep yearning
for the rains to come again.
wolves do not hibernate, typically,
but sometimes they accept dark meaningless
caves and do not emerge for long periods.
sometimes it's because it's comfortable,
and at other times it's because a
to tame them with things like
promises and psychiatry.
but wolves emerge, even though emerging is
blinding and painful and uncomfortable
and just quite inconvenient,
and involves the use of frozen muscles that
cramp and uncramp excruciatingly.
awakening is nauseating, unsettling, devoid of
a soft landing cushion to protect the wolf
from the shock of the hard surface that
they optimistically call "rock bottom",
where the roots swing low and offer
crude nutrition and something ancient and known,
yet distorted beyond recognition.
but wolves mend; they evolve from the shock,
they nurse their wounds and find other wolf friends
and cuddle with their old cub-mates
and cling to their mothers
and teachers and fathers and other fuzzy things
and eat whatever the earth offers and they mend.
they lie on the hard surface of the earth
and know they have never been closer to their source.
and when one day they have mended themselves,
and dug their way through the soil
and healed the broken roots...
... well, then they rise.
where there is a root
there must be tree.
the treeless root
is just as unstable
as the rootless tree,
buried far beneath the ground
with no sunshine or air,
no sense of the sky,
or experience of the wind.
so when one puts down
roots also, it helps to be
prepared to grow
a rooted tree.